Having a background in nursing, and my experience working with several hospice programs, has helped me be a caregiver for my parents who are declining in health. My mother was diagnosed with Colon Cancer five years ago. Although she can still care for herself, my Dad has noticed that she experiences frequent problems with unstable sugar levels which can cause some behavioral issues as he tries to remind her to eat regularly. My Dad retired just a year ago and has been hospitalized on numerous occasions because of his Congestive Heart Failure.

My parents live in their own home about an hour away from me and I have one sister who lives out of state. Although my sister is of great support, she relies on me to the primary caregiver for our parents due to my close proximity and my healthcare experience. My sister and I have many questions and quandaries about the future – our parents’ and our own.

Faced with my parents’ declining health, I had to choose between the discomfort of broaching the subject of what their end-of-life wishes are or choosing to wait. I decided to risk discomfort and recruited my sister to open the end of life discussion with our parents. We hadn’t planned a specific time but we both wanted to have it soon.

During the Thanksgiving holiday, our family went to camp at the Imperial Sand Dunes for the holiday weekend - a family tradition since I was a teenager. At one point, we each shared what we were thankful for. I shared that I was thankful for my parents and that they still have each other. It led me right into the discussion that my sister and I had wanted to have with them. My parents were open about sharing what they wanted should something happen to one of them.

The anticipation of the conversation was worse than the actual event itself. My sister and I now feel relieved that we will be able to honor our parents’ wishes when the time comes. Nobody wants to dwell on uncomfortable life changes, but everybody wants to have a choice and a plan for the future and the assurance that their plan will be carried out. We realized our parents felt the same relief that my sister and I did. And really, what parent doesn’t like to tell their kids what to do!

Sherry Taylor-Englund has worked in the field of hospice since 2000. She began her career as a licensed vocational nurse in 1988 and currently conducts speaking engagements on end-of-life care topics.