-by Melissa DelaCalzada

For those of us caring for seniors, elderly parents or aging loved ones (call yourself caregivers or family members), communication can oftentimes be a challenge. Although we all understand that changes do come with aging, for family caregivers, it can be difficult to watch, and deal with, your loved ones growing old.

In my role as family caregiver, I have noticed the “communication gap” that has developed between my father and I and the challenges it poses. Not only do I find myself repeating the same answers, as he asks the same questions, sometimes I feel like I am the “interpreter” between my father and the rest of my siblings or anyone that my father interacts with – oftentimes explaining to him what is being stated and explaining to others what my father’s needs are.

Factors can affect the way we communicate with seniors and the elderly such as physical, visual, sensory, cognitive and emotional abilities that aging loved ones and the elderly experience on a more profound scale. Understanding what seniors are faced with can help in communicating with them appropriately and avoid the occasional flare-ups that may occur.

Caring.com suggests that the way we communicate can help avoid conflict in talking with aging loved ones, seniors or elderly parents and suggests the following communication techniques:

• Listen to what elderly parents or aging loved ones are saying and try to understand what is important to them.
• Do not rush the conversation. If pushed too hard too soon, many seniors will respond by what can be perceived as being stubborn or non-compliant.
• Pose questions and offer more than one acceptable solution. Ask your parents which choice they think is best. By doing that you not only give them control and independence, but you also involve them in the decision process and make it work for everyone, regardless of the choice.
• Keep it simple. Raise a single issue at a time rather than a complex group of ideas or subjects all at once.
• Be patient. Talking with your elderly parents or aging loved ones should not be a race or a contest of wills to see who wins. It is a series of communications where both parties have to feel that they have benefited from the outcome.

Using these communication techniques and taking the time to understand the changes that seniors are faced with can help caregivers and family members close the communication gap and create conversations that are more effective, empathetic and meaningful to all involved.