In the wake of the death of Chelsea King, the 17-year-old Poway High School senior who went missing after a jog last Thursday afternoon, we are reminded that when human beings are touched by tragedy, there is often a compelling need to do something.

Thousands of people – family, friends, students – even community members who didn’t know Chelsea or her family - came out to volunteer in the search efforts for the missing girl. Thousands attended the vigil at St. Michael’s Catholic Church in Poway, especially after word spread about Chelsea’s body being found near Lake Hodges. And hundreds continue to write messages of sympathy and support on the family’s official Chelsea King Search Center Facebook page and through Twitter. In these ways, even those who would not typically be involved in the mourning process of this highly publicized young girl, have found avenues to channel their experience of grief.

These acts of mourning seem rooted in our need to give form to feelings and thoughts, to concretely honor the deceased, and to demonstrate what the deceased mean to us. Further, these acts also serve, whether intentionally or as a by-product, to draw a community of grievers together. When grief is the common denominator, our societal differences recede, and in its wake we discover how we are remarkably alike.

It has been said that no matter what the act of mourning, regardless of the relationship to the deceased, human beings are compelled to act in accordance to the powerful experience of grief.  Whether we proceed in a moving candlelight vigil, pour our heart out in song, or post photos and stories of the deceased on the web, we are acting and we are memorializing. And in that process, as human beings, we weave a tapestry of collective meaning and create sacredness in the face of the common experience of death.

It’s important to know that resources are available for those who are experiencing grief and loss. At The Center for Grief Care and Education at San Diego Hospice, we support people of all ages and our services are not limited to families of hospice patients – we are here to help the entire community.

Our program of bereavement support services includes private consultation, ongoing therapy for reducing emotional pain and developing coping skills, professionally- led support groups where people in similar circumstances can learn from each other, reinforcing the healing process.  Counseling is available for adults, children, couples, and families.  For more information, visit our website, e-mail griefinfo@sdhospice.org or call toll-free at 1-866-688-1600, ext. 6480.

 -Liane Fry, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Program Manager at The Center for Grief Care and Education at San Diego Hospice.